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NESSA Scar Diaries, meet Mum, ILLY “Accepting my Scar”

Posted by Anjalee Peiris on
NESSA Scar Diaries, meet Mum, ILLY “Accepting my Scar”

Welcome to NESSA’S #SCARDIARIES

Every week we talk to women about their story, their scar, and their recovery. 

Here at NESSA we see it as our responsibility to help open up the conversation about all scars - we know everyone feels differently about them, personally we love them, and we believe we should share honest stories and journeys with each other.

Over the next few weeks and months we will be sharing real scar stories from our amazing community of women and mothers, who are incredibly brave to share their stories.

Want to tell yours? Send yours via DM or to info@nessaorganics.com

First up, warrior Mum, Illy on "Accepting my Scar"

ILLY is a mother, a Midwife and a Hypnobirthing teacher, she works hard to raise awareness on birth advocacy, birth trauma, and if you follow her on IG you will become a fan of her birth debriefs, and honest motherhood chats.

💛 Welcome to #ScarDiaries ILLY! 💛

"I have a scar across my lower abdomen that prior to it being there I had never imagined. It’s how my sweet girl entered the world, eyes tightly closed, nose squished up and a straight mop of jet black hair.


That scar will always represent the most life changing moment I have ever experienced.


But it doesn’t represent happiness. It doesn’t represent positivity or joy.
For a very long time it represented failure and it represented guilt.
For a long time it wasn’t a “battle wound” or “badge of honour” I mean, if I’m honest, I still don’t see it that way. It’s a reminder. A reminder of trauma and pain but also of new life and beginnings.

I’ve seen so many posts about section wounds signifying strength and selflessness and that’s all good and well because for many it will mean those things, but the journey to seeing it like that is nuanced and sometimes complex. It may take time to even look at it, to touch it, to talk about it, you may never see it as something to be proud of or see strength in, and that’s ok.

When I really think about it, this scar, for me, is the epitome of parenting. 

Those complex co-existing feelings of being happy and sad or grateful and resentful all at the same time. I didn’t choose to have this scar here, I didn’t want it but despite that I have accepted its presence, knowing that it is here to stay and being grateful that I see joy each day through the presence of my daughter. That’s it, acceptance, and for me that’s enough.

So wherever you are in your relationship with your caesarean scar, I’ll meet you there because it’s not straightforward, it’s not without hardships, it's about taking time and holding space and being given the permission to feel exactly how you feel when you feel it."

- ILLY

Connect with Illy over on IG @Mixing.up.Motherhood

Do you have a scar story for our diary you wish to share? Send yours to info@nessaorganics.com

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